Reflections
Why am I afraid to open my heart to you?
In my experience, the man doesn’t want to open up his heart to a woman because he doesn’t want to appear weak. Because men are conditioned that vulnerability is softness, and the ability to love is considered a weakness.
When they grow up as boys are taught to be tough, and if they show their sensitivity at an early age or as teenagers, they are being bullied!
So we grow up with this idea that if we open our hearts, this exposes our weaknesses!
In my journey of growth, I had to experience that and protect my heart because I did not want to appear weak!
There are so many strategies to protect the heart, such as avoiding relationships, being stuck in an unloving relationship, going into addicted behaviors and dissociating from the body and connection to others.
There is not only one way to protect the heart, but each person cultivates a unique way to do that.
It took me years to realize that my heart was closed and when I finally did realized and started opening, it was such a powerful experience that took me many days to process. It wasn’t easy because I realized how much more I needed to do to keep opening that heart; keep on dropping in and being available to love to arise naturally!
Something that can always help me open my heart is being stimulated by a woman who supports me to come into that place!
by Giten Tonkov (https://www.biodynamicbreath.com)
In order to answer, I need to close my eyes and dive deep inside, where I find different layers of responses.
The first layer is that I am afraid to trust men. This fear sometimes comes as a voice of my intuition saying that I shouldn’t trust that person, which I try to respect and listen and other times comes from subconscious programs built in me throughout my childhood or inherited from my family tree.
The next layer is that I want to take revenge on men by withholding my love and my openness to them. This layer feels like something more than trauma or a belief…it feels like a layer of the collective that is stored deep inside my cells and it is the result of all women’s suffering.
And the last layer I can go through today is that if I open my heart to a man, I will enter my full power as a woman, which is my vulnerability, compassion and my state of unconditional love.
In this state, I will fully activate my heart chakra and penetrate my beloved’s heart with waves of unconditional love! It is the state where my Ego’s unhealthy games will be over and the war between men and women that resides in my hidden side will end!
And even though my heart yearns to end this war, my Ego holds it as one more way of protection!
by Agapi Apostolopoulou
