Why am I so afraid to open my heart to a man?

Women have substituted the power of letting go and surrendering to love with being suppressed and weak.

Surrendering to love is the act that totally “kills” the unhealthy Ego power and helps the woman to enter into the power of love, which is also her real feminine power.

But why is it so difficult to surrender to love?

Unfortunately, most of us grow up in an environment of authority, abuse and suppression!

Therefore, we develop different skills to be able to deal with this environment.
Some of these skills are: a powerful control system, the tendency to run away from love or anything that will make us open our hearts, manipulation and a powerful Drama Queen or Arrogant Queen!

All the above skills work perfectly when we try to keep our hearts closed from a man…! It is the best way to keep ourselves in our comfort zone where we are sure that we will not be hurt by stepping into our healthy vulnerability and transparency!

What do we lose when we do that?

The first thing we lose is the ability to dive deep inside life and drink the nectar of all its flavors. Another thing we definitely lose as women is our unique power which can blossom only when we decide to open our hearts as well as the opportunity to offer this love to beautiful men who also yearn to love us back!

How can we take some first steps towards our “surrender to love”?

First, take it easy and “breathe”! When you meet a man, something that you can do at the beginning, that could help you to trust him, is to let your inner man “scan” him!

Your inner man has to be always present at the beginning of the relationship and let go only when he is certain that the outer man can be there for you.

Your inner man is there to “check” if the outer man respects you, appreciates you and is present enough to hold space for your emotional waves. He is there to check if the outer man has already done his work with “cutting cords with mommy” so that he will not try to replace her with you, as well as he embraced his inner child with love and compassion.

Your inner man should never step out if he does not approve of the behavior of the outer man and if he does not feel that he can trust him.

What is next?

If the inner man feels that the man outside has all the skills needed to stand at the side of the inner woman (of course, without falling into the traps of perfectionism), he finally steps out and lets the outer man take the lead!

This is probably the most difficult and scary moment for the woman. It is scary because she confuses the act of surrendering with the act of being suppressed, something that she carries deep inside her being, as one of the wounds of Patriarchy. When I talk about surrender, I do not mean that she needs to surrender to the man but to the love that rises between them!

The moment that she finally takes that step then, she finally steps into her authentic feminine power!

At that moment, she can relax and enter into the receptivity, beauty and love!