Opening my heart in relationships

Why am I so afraid to open my heart to my partner?

Women have replaced the power of letting go and surrendering to love with a sense of suppression and weakness.

Surrendering to love is an act that completely dismantles the unhealthy ego power, enabling the woman to embrace the true power of love, which is also her authentic feminine strength.

But why is it so challenging to surrender to love?

Unfortunately, many of us grow up in environments characterized by authority, abuse, and suppression. Consequently, we develop various coping mechanisms to navigate these conditions. Some of these mechanisms include a robust control system, a tendency to evade love or situations that require opening our hearts, manipulation, and the adoption of a powerful Drama Queen or Arrogant Queen persona.

All these skills function effectively when we aim to keep our hearts closed from a man. It becomes a reliable strategy to stay within our comfort zones, ensuring that we won't be hurt by embracing healthy vulnerability and transparency.

What do we lose when we adopt this approach?

The first thing we lose is the ability to delve deep into life and savor the nectar of all its experiences. Additionally, as women, we forfeit our unique power, which can only blossom when we choose to open our hearts, along with the opportunity to reciprocate this love with men who also yearn to love us in return.

How can we take initial steps towards "surrendering to love"?

Firstly, take it easy and "breathe"! When encountering a man, consider allowing your inner man to "scan" him at the beginning of the relationship.

Your inner man should remain vigilant in the early stages, only relinquishing control when certain that the outer man can be there for you. This internal assessment ensures that the outer man respects and appreciates you, and is emotionally available to support you. Your inner man also evaluates whether the outer man has addressed any unresolved issues, such as "cutting cords with mommy," and has embraced his inner child with love and compassion.

The inner man should never step aside if disapproving of the outer man's behavior or if trust is lacking.

What comes next?

If the inner man determines that the outer man possesses the necessary qualities to stand beside the inner woman, without falling into the traps of perfectionism, then the inner man steps aside, allowing the outer man to take the lead.

This moment is often the most challenging and frightening for a woman. It can be intimidating because she may mistakenly associate the act of surrendering with being suppressed, a deep-seated wound from the patriarchal influence. When I speak of surrender, I refer not to surrendering to the man but to the love that blossoms between them.

In that moment of stepping forward, she finally embraces her authentic feminine power.

At that juncture, she can relax and immerse herself in receptivity, beauty, and love.