Be Authentic in sex
The act of sex often resembles a performance on a theater stage. Many individuals learn how to act through movies, pornographic films, magazines, and the advice of friends.
In the women's world, things are even more complicated. I have heard numerous women express how challenging it is for them to engage in sex without thinking about their body's imperfections. They constantly compare themselves to what they see in the media, making it impossible for them to relax and simply enjoy an act that ultimately has nothing to do with performance.
Sex has evolved into an activity where people move, moan, kiss, caress, and generally perform in specific ways. It's one more aspect of their lives where they feel the need to wear another mask. This keeps people imprisoned in their minds and attached to societal and media programming. As a result, people end up performing sex for their partners rather than genuinely connecting with them through sex.
What is happening with men?
In the men's world, things are not any easier. They also feel the pressure to conform to a specific performance standard, which can be stressful as they compare themselves to prototypes seen in porn or Hollywood movies. For most men, sex is perceived as a space where they believe they need to act without showing emotions and revealing vulnerability. From a young age, they are programmed according to the patriarchal-macho way of being, mainly focused on the goal of penetration and ejaculation. Men tend to be more focused on their bodies, especially their genitals (size, duration, pleasure-giving capabilities).
In summary, both men and women often connect sexually following a prescribed protocol rather than expressing their creative or natural sides. They hide their true desires at the back of their minds or in a small space in their hearts, sometimes remaining as unfulfilled fantasies.
Tips that help you be more authentic during lovemaking:
Things could be simpler if people could just be themselves. Here are some tips to help you be more "you" during sex:
Take it slow: Allow your body the time it needs to adapt to a connection with another body.
Be present in your body: Use your senses consciously and slowly—smell, look, taste, touch.
Breathe: Breathing helps you take it slow and stay present in your body.
Forget preconceived notions about sex: Every person is different, and sex is a field of unlimited creativity. Respect your partner's boundaries and enjoy creating different types of connections.
Communicate: Get to know your lover and discuss preferences openly. Sharing your desires and boundaries is essential.
Accept your body: Before connecting with another person, accept and love your body as it is. No one is perfect, and your body is doing its best to serve you. Show appreciation by accepting and loving it for what it is.
