Fear of commitment
Some days ago, a friend described the relationship between a man and a woman as swimming in a sea where there is probably no bottom! The idea of no bottom scared me, and I preferred taking it out of my mind. But today, I had a different insight.
I believe a woman is like a lake, and a man is the one who dives into it! The lake is bottomless even though she prefers thinking it has a bottom.
The diver can go as deep as the lake allows him to go.
The woman is the one who can determine the depth of a relationship according to how deep she goes with herself!
The interesting part of the story is that she needs to create illusionary “bottoms inside the lake” to stop the man from going deeper because she is afraid of her depth, power, emotions, and sexuality!
These bottoms can be her comfort zone and a fake safety hidden behind her control system. This control system is supposed to be there to “protect” her from letting the man into her heart. If she lets him in, she is afraid she will lose her freedom and probably be abused as her ancestors were. She confuses opening her heart and surrendering in love with being weak and suppressed.
Of course, all these voices and feelings are not conscious. She is unaware of all these fears; they are well-hidden in the depth of Pandora’s box.
A woman interested in her self-development always tries to go beyond those “lake bottoms.” She finds the strength to face her fears of the unknown, and no matter how painful it can be, she uses her power of consciousness and presence to dissolve whatever lies in the path of “surrendering to love.”
Sometimes it feels as if she is betraying the programming of women in her family tree, sometimes it feels as if she goes against the whole patriarchal world, and sometimes it feels as if she jumps from a huge cliff, not knowing if she will ever land again. But the reward she feels whenever she makes those jumps is always a lot more valuable than the fear and the resistance. It is the absolute freedom that leads her deeper into the vibration of unconditional love!
Dear woman,
Dissolving the illusionary bottoms and inviting him in makes you step into a deeper commitment. This commitment is with yourself and with no one else. You commit not to compromise between your wounds, programs, patterns, and your freedom, love, and power.
The depth of the relationship depends mainly on you!
Dear man,
Accepting her invitation to go deeper might scare you but also give you the chance to go deeper inside yourself. Inside your inner woman, your inner abyss, and your inner feminine power. You will not lose your freedom if you dive deep, but you will gain it! And when you get across with her resistance to open the door, do not push, complain, or suffocate, but be present and hold space for the fear she has to reveal the sacred waters of her feminine power!
The direction of the relationship depends mainly on you!
